Monday, May 10, 2010
Balance is Beautiful.
After working for over a year in retail, full time, I was very happy to leave my job and concentrate on moving to Melbourne and having a bit of a holiday while I settled in. The problem was, that because I was permanently moving to Melbs, the first few weeks didn't feel like a holiday. They felt like limbo. There I was, homeless (With enough money though), jobless, with no sense of direction, car-less and friend-less. I had my love of course, but he was in the same position too.
Finding a house was a big relief. I couldn't start searching for work until I knew where I would be living.
When I started looking for a job, I was excited at all the opportunities for interesting places of work that Melbourne would hold, but it only took a short time to knock down my confidence when none of the seek applications generated replies. Because I didn't have anywhere that I had to be, the days didn't mean anything and I found that the more free time I had, the less I did with it. I knew that the moment I did return to work, I would be back to complaining about customers and employers and bad training methods...but I felt so useless not having a job. It definitely reinforced my want to further my qualifications so that I'll always be in demand.
I've enjoyed working steadily this week. But it's also made me appreciate my days off more. I love the feeling of finishing work and walking home, knowing that you don't have to go there again tomorrow. My brain springs a pile of creative endeavours for me to embark on as soon as I get home. There's also a satisfied tired that only comes from working a long shift and feeling the tired muscles in your legs when you sit down. It brings on a wonderful deep sleep. The more I am doing, the more I want to do, which can be a bad thing... but at the moment I seem to be finding the right balance. My mind is musing on several creative projects, which I am gradually starting and cultivating. Finding time to keep in touch with my family, clean the house, cook healthy meals, and eat properly are also important parts of balance in my life. And also spending time alone, but spending plenty of time with my love and with friends as well.
I think that balance is also about acceptance and gratefulness. Realising that you cannot do everything at once, or be good at everything is a difficult task for me. I believe that you must also accept that your life will swing out of balance sometimes, but have faith that it will swing back. Being accepting of yourself and your imbalances is also important. Sometimes I am annoyed with myself for not eating well or exercising for a few days, or for simply wasting a day. I don't think that there is room for self-disappointment in the quest for balance. Resolving to make a change is good, but you must be patient. We should remind ourselves of all the things that we can do, all the good things that we do for ourselves, and all the things we are to all the different people in our lives.